Alive
by raecat
Summary: After his near-death experience at the hands of Kahmunrah, Jedediah questions what it means to be alive. Jed/Oct lurv.


**Alive**

Note 1: Jed & Octavius are standard-sized plastic miniatures - 54 mm (2.25 inches) or 1:32 scale.  
Note 2: The Hall of North American Forests is a real room in the museum. It is located in the corner of the 1st floor, down the hall from the main rotunda. The giant Sequoia is a real exhibit. I made the rest up.  
Note 3: Jed here is NOT based on Jedediah Strong Smith - explorer/hunter/fur-trader. He died in 1831, well before railroads in the mid-west. Plus he was French-American, born in New York, and was scarred by a bear. Not our blond-haired, blue-eyed hunky cowboy. :-D  
Note 4: A lot of this thought process in the boys is a free-write stream of consciousness. If it doesn't make sense, that's ok. They're confused too. :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing and nobody!

~*~

Jedediah stood on the reception desk, contemplating the museum map he was standing on. Muttering to himself, he used a broken pencil to cross out rooms on the map. "Seen that...been there..." Adventure and the urge to explore had stirred in him during their trip to the Smithsonian and the miniature cowboy was trying to figure where in this museum he could go. He had found the map on the desk, around the other side from where Octavius was speaking with Ahkmenrah, sharing stories of Egypt and Rome. Feeling put-out, Jed had wandered off around the desk, unsure of these new feelings. Deciding to ignore them, he planned to explore the museum - without Octavius. That would prove he didn't need the Roman! "Yee-haw!" Jedediah had struck proverbial gold. He had been in Dexter's jungle home before, but here on the map was the 'Hall of North American Forests'. Standing in the middle of the "room", Jed turned right around, drawing a circle on the map. Maybe Larry would save the map for him to explore with later! Excited, Jed slid down the phone cord and took off across the floor in the toy car.

About an hour later, Ahkmenrah was torn from Octavius with the invitation to play ball with Attila and some of the mannequins. Promising to continue their story-sharing, Octavius looked around the desk for Jedediah. To his surprise, the cowboy was no where to be found. Dexter was playing with Rexie and the bone, and the toy car was missing. Octavius frowned. Had Jedediah left him? Was the cowboy angry at him for speaking with Ahkmenrah? Across the desk, Octavius spied the map and discarded pencil. Hurrying over, he tried to make sense of the scene. Had Jedediah done this? Would this help him find his friend?

"Octavius?" The Roman General jumped and looked around wildly. Lewis and Clark were standing beside the desk, staring at Octavius and the map. "Are you having troubles?"

"Ah, gentlemen, forgive me. I seem to have lost Jedediah and was thinking this map may help me find him. However, it seems that I cannot decipher it." Octavius tried to look nonchalant at the admittance.

Lewis shared a look with Clark. "Can you not read, General?"

"Of course I can read! I am a highly decorated and well educated Roman General! I just cannot read _English_." Octavius glared at the two explorers.

"Your pardon, good General. May we perhaps be of assistance in translating your map?" Octavius stepped off the paper, allowing the men a moment to study Jedediah's markings. "It seems that he may be exploring the museum. Some of the rooms are crossed off. And this one here has been circled. Adventure seems to have gripped your small friend. Would you like assistance in reaching this new room?"

Octavius bit his lip, hesitating. Jedediah had left him to explore on his own. Was the cowboy even alone? Had he been replaced? Octavius felt his gut plummet at the thought. Had he himself given off the impression he no longer need or wanted the cowboys companionship? Mentally shaking himself, Octavius reigned in his feelings. "If it is not too much trouble, gentlemen, I would not be adverse to assistance."

Octavius stepped up into Clark's offered palm, allowing them to carry him through the museum. Worry and uncertainty chewed at his gut. He couldn't help but think Jedediah may have tired of him after so long. Was that why the cowboy was hiding? Or perhaps be had somehow offended? Octavius was once again startled from his thoughts as he was gently set on the floor. Before him was the toy car Larry had brought for him and Jedediah. The cowboy was no-where in sight. Octavius crossed his arm over his chest, saluting the explorers, then turned and headed into the room. Lewis and Clark followed after to have a look around, but headed in another direction, leaving the Roman to his privacy.

~*~

Jedediah had stared around the room in awe. Huge trees surrounded the edge, floor lined in moss. The room smelled alive and Jed could hear birds and bugs in the air. Although he loved his desert home, this room of huge trees was alive in a completely different manner. He felt he must have been transported outside, that no fake-to-living object in the museum to be this alive. This thought brought Jed to a halt. The cowboy was walking between the trees, soft moss below his boots, but now he stood stock-still. What did it mean for him to be alive? He didn't bleed like Larry, or Ahkmenrah, who had been alive at some point. Even Rex, as a pile of bones, still became thirsty. But he was plastic. He never hungered nor thirsted. He breathed, but he didn't _need_ to breathe. His heart didn't beat - did that mean he didn't have one? Did that mean he didn't _feel?_

Jedediah sank to his knees on the moss, shock and panic hitting him swiftly. His mind tried to comprehend. Did he not have feelings or emotions? Could he not feel pain? He certainly thought he could. He had been hurt and almost drowned in sand. Would he really have died? Teddy had been split in two by the wagon a few years ago, and the horses had heaved when they ran. Yet Teddy was fine - he did not bleed or feel pain. And he and Sacajawea obviously had feelings for each other. Yet Teddy often said he was not 'real', only a figure made of wax. Yet he still knew how the real Teddy thought and acted. The civil war dudes were always fighting, as if the war was real to them.

Then he thought on his own feelings and opinions. He liked Larry, and many of the others. He had waged war with Octavius and the Romans. He had felt jealousy and emptiness earlier regarding Octavius and Ahkmenrah. Maybe, he thought to himself, being alive was whatever he made of it. He wasn't sure about Teddy and Sacajawea, being wax, but he knew he and his people were 'correct'. Some of his crew had taken lady-friends for themselves and liked to brag.

Jed stood and began to wander through the moss and tree roots. The trees were certainly alive, he could _feel_ them. They reminded him of Octavius, steady and strong. Jedediah was beginning to miss the Roman. He sure put up with a lot of crap, supporting his crazy notions and riding in the car with him. And he had returned, riding into battle to save him from death. Jedediah returned to that train of thought. Could he really die? Could he suffocate if he didn't need air? Kahmunrah seemed to think so, and Larry had at least believed the threat to be real. As had Octavius. What would happen to him if he did die? Would he remain in this alive state, or revert to plastic, never to awake again? Maybe he needed to chat with Ahkmenrah, it is his tablet after all. Maybe if he and Octavius were not too busy... Octavius. What would happen to the Roman if he were to die? And his own people? Would he remain a frozen statue in the desert forever or would they replace him with another that would come to life, lead his people, and befriend the Roman General? Would anyone even miss him?

Overwhelmed with his thoughts, Jedediah sank to the ground, back to a root. Knees drawn up, his elbows rested on them as his hands hung limply in the air. His hat was low over his eyes, as he wallowed in despair. Deep inside, he felt like he may cry.

~*~

This was how Octavius found him as he rounded another root. The moss was soft beneath his sandals and he was unsure if the cowboy heard his approach. Octavius let out a breath he was been holding, relief flowing through him at the sight of Jedediah. Kneeling down, he placed a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "Jedediah, my friend, are you well?"

He felt more than saw the shrug and strained to hear the mumbled reply. "Are we really alive? Or is this some trick or shadow of life?"

Removing his sword and helmet, Octavius settled in across from the cowboy. He had a feeling they may be there a while. "That would depend on what you consider alive. Larry is the most alive of us all, yet we did not think he was when he worked for his company. And we get up and move every night. And more so than just movement, we have personalities and thoughts."

"But can we die? Would I have died in that hourglass? Would y'all just replace me?"

"I hope we never find out, my friend." Octavius rested his hand on Jedediah's arm. He had been so frightened at the thought of Jedediah's death that he actually never thought if it was possible. But he could see where the cowboy's train of thought was going. Larry and Kahmunrah had believed it. Octavius squeezed his arm, slightly surprised when Jed squeezed back, his hand covering the Roman's.

The two sat in silence, Octavius finally returning to the question Jed had originally asked. "Do you not believe yourself to be alive?"

The cowboy took a while to answer. "I...I don't know what it means to be alive. What's the criteria? We don't bleed, eat or sleep. We're made of plastic! We think and move only 'cause of some fancy cursed tablet!"

"But we have thoughts and feelings. Where do they fit into your criteria?"

Jedediah shrugged. "What do you think?"

"Well, like you told me before, we evolved from enemies to friends. I do enjoy your company, Jedediah, and I worry about you. Do these feelings mean I am not alive?" Octavius had actually begun to feel more than just friendly thoughts for the cowboy, but he didn't think this was the moment for them. Until Jedediah spoke again.

"I like hangin' with you too, partner. You sure are someone to ride the river with. But some of these feelings don't make any cotton-picking sense!"

Octavius leaned over, trying to see under the brim of Jedediah's lowered hat. A light blush stained his cheek and ear, causing Octavius to grin. "May I conduct a test that may help you assess your feelings?"

One blue eye peaked out from under his hat as Jedediah stared at Octavius. Whatever the blond cowboy was thinking, Octavius couldn't tell this time. Finally, he gave a nod. With a grin and flick of his wrist, Octavius swiped Jedediah's hat right off, leaned in, and planted his lips right on the younger man's before he could protest. Before the cowboy had time to react, Octavius sat back and gave him an inquiring look.

Jedediah stared at the Roman as his brain caught up. "You... you kissed me!" Jedediah jumped to his feet, blond hair flying. He pointed at Octavius, still on the ground. "What in the blazes was that for? Is that a bluff, or do you mean it for real play?" His eyes were wide and Octavius was reminded of a trapped animal.

"I mean no offense, if that is how you see it. Merely, I was testing for a reaction. Since you seem to have an opinion, one can deduce that you have thoughts. In order to have thoughts, you are alive." Octavius grinned and stood. Over time, he had noticed that the more worked up Jedediah became, the more cowboy 'slang' he used. Sometimes the Roman would rile him up just to see what he'd say next. And the cowboy did not disappoint.

"Yeah well you cant just flummox a feller like that! Yah gotta have an intent to purpose!" Jedediah gestured wildly, concerning Octavius. He reached out a calming hand.

"My friend, please. To answer your question, I did mean it for real. However, I was trying to help you. If you wish, I shall never act upon those desires again. I apologize."

Jedediah, hands on hips, refused to meet Octavius' eye, staring instead at his boot tip as he toed the moss. "Now don't you be putin' words in a feller's mouth. Just surprised me, is all."

Octavius grinned. That was Jedediah speak for 'I did not mind at all. In fact, I would be most happy if you'd do it again.' Octavius was happy to oblige. Stepping forward, he backed the cowboy against the tree, hands on the other's hips. He once again placed his lips over the younger mans. Jedediah, brain finally caught up with the goings-on, groaned and snaked his arms around the General's shoulders. Breaking the kiss for air, Octavius' lips moved to Jedediah's neck as he slid one leg between the others, where he could feel the results of their actions. Sliding one hand around, he palmed the rough jeans and stiff member within. He grinned into Jedediah's neck as the younger man dropped his head back against the tree with a moan.

"That right there tells us you are alive, my friend. And I would never replace you."

~End~


End file.
